Hi Everyone
Well, I too am back in ‘normal’ land which I have to admit, at first, was a bit scary. I missed you all so much during the first couple of days. I found it so hard to talk about what we had experienced because words just
didn’t seem adequate. People have almost stopped interrogating me now, probably imagining that we all sat around gloomy faced and sad, I’ve tried to put them right but I guess they just don’t get it.
I think about you all individually every single day. I miss you loads. I miss what we shared. I miss our laughter.
I miss our closeness. I miss having such great food cooked for me!!
As you know, I had my first MRI scan on Monday morning which was ok although I was glad to get out of the tunnel. I have had loads of other bone scans, x-rays, ct scans, ultra sounds etc but never a MRI on my hip. What you are about to read will be completely jaw dropping. It still hasn’t sunk in properly. Monday afternoon I was shopping for more of our ’new’ food when my mobile rang – it was my oncologist. Good news and bad news he said. The conversation went something like this, him first (obviously and then my reply):
“Good news first – you do not have any cancer in your hip”
“I never thought I had it in my hip, only my femur bone in my leg”
“Yes, that’s right, so you do not have any cancer in your femur”
“Do you mean it has gone following the radiotherapy?”
“No, it was never there in the first place”
“You mean I have never had a secondary cancer in my leg?”
“No, there is no evidence that your original breast cancer has ever spread anywhere”
Me – complete silence and shock and sickness feeling and amazement and every other emotion under the sun.
Him – “So, I’m afraid it looks as though you have had 2 weeks radio therapy and associated drugs unnecessarily”
We chatted for a bit longer when he told me what I do have wrong with my leg but I had to telephone his secretary the next day to get her to repeat the diagnosis as I didn’t recall much more of the conversation. I have necrosis of the femur which has been allowed to progress to a much later stage and been made much worse by the radio-therapy. I’m seeing my oncologist and orthopedic surgeon tomorrow to get more info but it’ll still most likely be a total hip replacement but obviously this changes everything.
I bet you can’t believe it, can you? How could they have got it so wrong. The last 4 months of my year have been devastating and for once I don’t have to explain to you all how I have felt. My husband has gone from jubilation to anger which I guess is normal.
It’s a miracle to me.
I’ll leave you with the news, it still hasn’t sunk in properly yet.
Love to each and everyone of you.
Josie
xxxxxxxx (one each for you all!)
Well, I too am back in ‘normal’ land which I have to admit, at first, was a bit scary. I missed you all so much during the first couple of days. I found it so hard to talk about what we had experienced because words just
didn’t seem adequate. People have almost stopped interrogating me now, probably imagining that we all sat around gloomy faced and sad, I’ve tried to put them right but I guess they just don’t get it.
I think about you all individually every single day. I miss you loads. I miss what we shared. I miss our laughter.
I miss our closeness. I miss having such great food cooked for me!!
As you know, I had my first MRI scan on Monday morning which was ok although I was glad to get out of the tunnel. I have had loads of other bone scans, x-rays, ct scans, ultra sounds etc but never a MRI on my hip. What you are about to read will be completely jaw dropping. It still hasn’t sunk in properly. Monday afternoon I was shopping for more of our ’new’ food when my mobile rang – it was my oncologist. Good news and bad news he said. The conversation went something like this, him first (obviously and then my reply):
“Good news first – you do not have any cancer in your hip”
“I never thought I had it in my hip, only my femur bone in my leg”
“Yes, that’s right, so you do not have any cancer in your femur”
“Do you mean it has gone following the radiotherapy?”
“No, it was never there in the first place”
“You mean I have never had a secondary cancer in my leg?”
“No, there is no evidence that your original breast cancer has ever spread anywhere”
Me – complete silence and shock and sickness feeling and amazement and every other emotion under the sun.
Him – “So, I’m afraid it looks as though you have had 2 weeks radio therapy and associated drugs unnecessarily”
We chatted for a bit longer when he told me what I do have wrong with my leg but I had to telephone his secretary the next day to get her to repeat the diagnosis as I didn’t recall much more of the conversation. I have necrosis of the femur which has been allowed to progress to a much later stage and been made much worse by the radio-therapy. I’m seeing my oncologist and orthopedic surgeon tomorrow to get more info but it’ll still most likely be a total hip replacement but obviously this changes everything.
I bet you can’t believe it, can you? How could they have got it so wrong. The last 4 months of my year have been devastating and for once I don’t have to explain to you all how I have felt. My husband has gone from jubilation to anger which I guess is normal.
It’s a miracle to me.
I’ll leave you with the news, it still hasn’t sunk in properly yet.
Love to each and everyone of you.
Josie
xxxxxxxx (one each for you all!)
Filed under: News | Tagged: amazement, cancer, closeness, evidence, laughter, love, miracle, oncologist, scans, shock, sickness
